


the rain it falls like fire

by statusquo_ergo



Series: our names buried down in the dust [4]
Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Loneliness, M/M, Secret Relationship, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-20 17:00:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30008058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/statusquo_ergo/pseuds/statusquo_ergo
Summary: This is how things have to be, Mike knows. It's all right. He's tough, and he can do it on his own.
Relationships: Mike Ross/Harvey Specter
Series: our names buried down in the dust [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2154834
Comments: 6
Kudos: 17





	the rain it falls like fire

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Hi, for the angsty prompts if they are still on: I don't know if it is your cup of tea, but what about earlier in the season Marvey are together, but keeping it on the down-low for obv. reasons. Scotty comes bc of the merger, and they fall back into their old habit of falling into bed-only this time Harvey also has someone he betrayed, and bc the aformentioned secrecy no one is there for Mike to fall back on. Also, thanks for doing this, the previous fics for prompts were all incredible:D
> 
> This probably isn't _quite_ what you had in mind, but I hope you like it anyway! Thank you for the prompt!

It’s not surprising, that things are going this way. He has no right to accuse Harvey of misleading him, or making him think they’re anything other than exactly what they are. Nothing more and nothing less than just…them, straddling the line between right and wrong, yes and no. Forever and a day.

It’s not surprising, the way things are going.

From the moment she arrived, everything has happened exactly the way he should have expected.

He did expect it, too. Some small part of him, some little voice in the back of his mind told him, warned him, that this was going to happen. That they were going to fall into their old patterns, Harvey and Scottie, that they were going to act as they always have before, do as they’ve always done. “I’m different,” he tried to tell himself, “this is different. This time isn’t the same as all those others because now there’s me, and there’s us, and that means…”

What does that mean?

That means you have a fantasy, is all. That means you’re playing a different game. It doesn’t mean much of anything, really. Not to anyone else.

“But it’s me,” he tries to tell himself. “It’s us. Our rules are different.”

It’s you against years and years of history, is what it is. Years and years of habits they’ve never needed to break.

It’s for the best, isn’t it? It’s better like this. No one will suspect, and that’s what they want, isn’t it? That’s how it has to be, for now. They agreed, for however long it takes.

A lightbulb flickers and buzzes overhead, some sort of ill-timed warning or a sarcastic jab on behalf of all the things outside his control as Mike fans through the files Scottie slipped him, skimming the words already locked inside his mind, words he’s read and reread a dozen times already and he’ll go over a dozen times more before everything is through. Everything she’s doing, she’s doing for Harvey, and of all things, he ought to appreciate that. Of all the things in the world, of all the things that could’ve brought her here, that should be the one he understands best, shouldn’t it? The one thing they have in common, the one thing they both want. The man they both want to protect.

It won’t be forever. The merger will be settled, and she’ll be on her way, and everything will go back to the way it was. Sneaking around in the dark, stolen moments and secret nights, it’ll be great.

“Hello! Mike!”

He jerks his head up, pulling one of the earbuds from his ear as his mouth pulls up into a reflexive smile.

“Hey,” he says. “You need something?”

Rachel cocks her eyebrows and settles her hands on her hips.

“I was going to ask if you wanted to get lunch,” she says, “but you seem to have gone off to another planet, and I don’t know if you’re going to be back before my break’s over.”

He laughs because she means him to, because there won’t be any questions if he does, and she smiles like she appreciates it, like there’s some kind of understanding between them.

I’d tell you all of it if I could, I hope you know that.

“Yeah,” he says, “sorry about that. This merger is just…a lot. But sure, lunch sounds great.”

She smiles, and he smiles, and they walk out of the office together, and everything is as it should be, as it always has been. As it has to be.

“So,” she says as they settle in at some high-priced restaurant or another that she picked and he agreed to without really hearing the name. “Tell me everything.”

His nails cut into his palms underneath the table. “What?” he asks in a tone merely curious, utterly unsuspicious, vaguely indifferent.

She rolls her eyes. “I don’t think we’ve talked in about a year,” she says, falling for the act completely. “Just the two of us, hanging out. You must be going crazy being the lead on the merger, are you really telling me you don’t need to vent?”

Caution. Caution.

“‘Vent’?”

“Or if you’ve got any behind-the-scenes gossip,” she teases, “I wouldn’t say no to that, either.”

She doesn’t know. No, she doesn’t.

He’s very good at what he does.

“Harvey and Scottie are spending a lot of time together,” he says, smoothing out the edges of his voice with a cocky grin. “And I haven’t been invited.”

I hate her. I hate her.

Rachel hums through her barely parted lips. “You think there’s any impropriety?”

I think they’re killing me. I think it’s ruining me every minute I see the two of them together.

“I think that if they’ve made it this far acting the way they’re acting,” he says, “there’s no reason they can’t get through one more business deal the exact same way.”

This is the way things have to be, this is the act we have to put on. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about me, it doesn’t mean he’s going to run after her when she goes.

Does it? Doesn’t it?

No, it can’t. I’m different.

Tell me I am.

Rachel hums again, sitting back in her chair.

“Jessica has final say over all of this anyway,” she says. “I’m sure everything’s going to be fine, she’s not going to let Harvey do anything too stupid.”

But isn’t that what we’re doing? Something too stupid? I know we are, I know I am, but tell me I’m not. Tell me we’re better than this.

I’m just kidding myself, aren’t I? It’s her, it’s always been her. Her that he loves, her that he’ll walk to the ends of the earth for. Her that he’ll go back to.

“Yeah,” he says. “They know what they’re doing. We’ll be fine.”

She laughs a little, under her breath, and looks down at the menu. That was easy, wasn’t it? And now we can move on to other things. Better things, easier things.

“Still,” she says, “I’m glad I’m not in your place right now.”

And me, and me, and me. I’m crawling out of my skin to be anywhere else, anyone else, just for a minute, just for a day.

Your life, can I try it on? Will you take a little of the burden from me?

“Mike?”

“Hm?”

He looks up with his practiced grin, his easygoing smile, slipping just a bit as he meets her troubled eyes.

But I was good, wasn’t I? Don’t you believe me?

“Mike,” she says, “are you sure you’re okay?”

Of course I am. Of course. I’ve taken all I can take and I’ll take a little more, and more, and everything is fine.

“Yeah,” he says. “It’s just stress. You know.”

She nods uncertainly, sympathetically, and chooses to believe him, the way she always does. The way they always do, because it’s so much easier like that. So much easier than pressing, than “Is it really,” “Are you sure,” “I don’t believe you.”

Good. You shouldn’t.

They order, they eat, they pay, they leave. Suddenly he’s back at his desk as though none of it ever happened, as though the mask never slipped for her to see beneath, for her to look the other way.

He opens the files he’s read a dozen times and looks down at the words already printed across his brain, the ones he doesn’t need to see to know like the back of his hand.

MERGER AGREEMENT.

It’s not what it sounds like. Is it? No. It’s not. This world and that one, ours and theirs, they’re separate. He’ll let her go when she leaves, he’ll let us try again. Let us play our games. Someday, she’s gonna go away, when all of this is over and done. Because I’m different. Because we’re different.

The stories we tell ourselves are the easiest ones to believe, don’t you think? But this one is special. This one is real.

The lights flicker overhead, and Mike looks up into the empty room.

Nighttime, huh? I didn’t even notice.

When all of this is over, we’ll get back to the way things used to be. Hold on a little bit longer, you can do it.

You’ve had a lot of practice.


End file.
